When comparison creeps in: navigating work, social media, and self-worth
You open LinkedIn with your morning coffee.
Someone’s celebrating a promotion. Another is announcing a dream job in a city you love. Someone else just hit their 10-year work anniversary, complete with a photo that screams success.
You feel a tightness in your chest. “Why not me?”
If this feels familiar, you’re not alone.
Comparison is deeply human, and in today’s hyper-connected world, it’s more present than ever.
In the past few weeks, I discussed my feelings with two fellow coaches/friends, and their perspective helped me shift my mindset and view to a more positive frame.
I was venting with them about how draining it sometimes is to be up to date, up to speed, up with trends, credible, visible, successful, knowledgeable, and they both told me: YOU DO NOT HAVE TO.
And they were right, we do not have to, it’s our choice.
After evaluating what or who the triggers were, I asked myself some questions: you’ll find them below.
Comparison: the double-edged sword
Our brains evolved to compare. It helped us belong, fit in, and survive.
In the workplace, it can sometimes push us to grow, learn new skills, or see what’s possible.
But social media, especially platforms like LinkedIn and Instagram, supercharge this tendency. It’s a constant stream of highlight reels. We see the awards, the wins, the ‘dream life’ photos but rarely the setbacks, the doubts, the nights of wondering, “Am I good enough?”
A little comparison can inspire. But too much can drain our energy, feed imposter syndrome, and make us feel like we’re always falling short.
And honestly, I felt drained.
Behind the scenes vs. the highlight reel
One thing I remind myself is: we’re comparing our messy behind-the-scenes to someone else’s polished, cropped, and filtered moment.
It’s not a fair fight.
Someone’s post about a promotion doesn’t show the late nights, the rejections, or the sacrifices that came with it.
A founder’s funding announcement doesn’t show the 50 ‘no’s before the ‘yes’.
It’s not about denying others’ success; it’s about remembering that we never see the whole story.
How I try to reframe comparison
Over time, I’ve learned that comparison doesn’t have to be my enemy.
Instead of letting it make me feel small, I try to see it as a signal, pointing me toward what I care about.
When envy pops up, I ask:
“What does this feeling tell me about what I want more of in my life?”
“Is this something I actually want or just think I should want?”
Turning comparison into a teacher takes practice, but it’s worth it.
Small steps that help
Here are a few small, practical ways I’m learning to handle comparison at work and online:
Pause the story.
Next time you feel that pang, stop and ask: “What do I really know about this person’s journey?”
Use envy as information.
If someone’s success makes you envious, ask: “Is this pointing me toward something I want to explore?”
Compare you to you.
Shift the lens: “How have I grown in the last year? What would past me be proud of?”
Curate your feed.
Follow people who inspire you realistically, not people who drain your energy. Unfollow or mute accounts that fuel the comparison spiral.
Celebrate your own milestones.
Big and small. Did you handle a tough meeting well? Did you learn something new? That counts.
Define your own version of success.
Ask yourself: “What does meaningful work look like for me right now — in this season of my life?”
Comparison will always be there, it’s part of being human. But we can choose how to respond to it. Instead of letting it shrink us, we can let it guide us.
May your moments of comparison remind you of what you truly want and nudge you closer to your own version of success, not someone else’s.
And maybe next time you feel that familiar pang, you’ll pause, take a breath, and ask: “What is this feeling trying to teach me?”
