Play More, Judge Less: The power of not taking yourself too seriously

Somewhere along the way, many of us learned that being an adult means being serious.

Serious about work.
Serious about decisions.

Serious about what’s next.
Serious about how we appear to others.

But what if taking ourselves too seriously actually makes life… smaller?

Recently, I read Life in Three Dimensions by Shigehiro Oishi, and one concept particularly resonated with me: the idea that a good life isn’t just about happiness or meaning. It’s also about psychological richness, a life full of curiosity, novelty, and perspective-shifting experiences.

And playfulness is one of the simplest ways to invite that richness into our lives.

The third dimension we often forget

We’re often taught that a good life has two ingredients:

• Happiness

• Meaning

But the book introduces a third dimension: psychological richness, a life filled with diverse, surprising experiences that change how we see the world.

These experiences don’t have to be dramatic.

Sometimes richness comes from:

• trying something new

• laughing at yourself

• having spontaneous conversations

• doing something simply because it’s fun

Playfulness opens the door to all of this.

It loosens the grip of perfectionism and invites curiosity instead.

The problem with taking ourselves too seriously

When we take ourselves too seriously, a few things tend to happen:

We avoid risks. I personally stayed in my 9-5 job for years.
We become overly concerned about how we appear; thankfully, this has changed over the years. Berlin’s environment helped with the process.
We forget how to experiment, and finally, these past years, I could experiment a lot, actually, if I don’t do it, I would be stuck.

In other words, we start optimizing life for control instead of experience.

But life rarely unfolds in straight lines.
The most meaningful memories often come from detours, surprises, and moments that didn’t go as planned.

A psychologically rich life embraces those twists.

Playfulness is not immaturity

There is a common misconception that playfulness is childish. But research on adult playfulness shows something different.

Playful people are often:

• more open to new experiences;

• more adaptable;

• more fun;

• more opportunities;

• more creative in solving problems

Playfulness doesn’t mean ignoring responsibilities.

It means approaching life with curiosity rather than rigidity.

Even small acts of spontaneity, like taking a different route home, starting a random conversation, or trying a new activity, can add depth and color to our lives.

A life with fewer regrets

One of the most powerful insights from the book is this:

People tend to regret missed opportunities more than mistakes.

A psychologically rich life is not necessarily the most comfortable life but it is often the one people regret the least.

When we loosen our need to be perfect or “serious,” we create space for experiences that expand us.

A small invitation

So here’s a simple reflection:

Where could you be a little more playful this week?

Maybe it’s:

• saying yes to something unexpected;

• talk to a stranger about the weather;

• laughing at a mistake instead of overanalyzing it;

• exploring something just for curiosity;

• letting go of the need to look competent all the time.

Life doesn’t need to be optimized every minute.

Sometimes it just needs to be experienced.

And sometimes the richest moments start when we stop taking ourselves quite so seriously.